Look Both Ways Read online

Page 19


  “I understand. I’ve always been told that humans are paired by nature, and it’s a simple matter of crossing paths with your predestined mate. I think that concept worked better when there were fewer people in the world. With the population of Houston alone, we might have a very hard time connecting, but I think we finally meet the right person.” She smiled sweetly.

  Marc was relaxed and enlightened, and easy to be with. Susan also relaxed and prepared to be swept away by his charm, but hesitated about taking the big step. He took one she didn’t expect and invited her to his parents’ home for dinner.

  “They really liked you,” he said when were back at her apartment.

  “I like them, too,” she answered, smiling. “And I like you.”

  “But?”

  “But what?”

  “You know what I mean. There’s some kind of wall between us when it comes to intimacy. I’m not looking for a quick roll in the hay, but I sense hesitation on your part. Is it me?”

  She knew what he meant and searched for an acceptable answer. “No, it’s not you. I like you a lot; I’m just not into casual sex. I like moving slowly so I can sort of see where I’m heading.”

  He reluctantly accepted her answer and invited her to a gospel concert the week before her trip to Canton. He was on time and, as usual, very complimentary.

  “You’re beautiful. If our relationship doesn’t work out, you’re going to be a hard one to forget.”

  Susan wanted to want him, but Will was still very much on her mind. A determined Mrs. Whitehead had sent her photographs taken at the convention. At first she placed them in a drawer, but after rethinking her decision, she framed one of them and placed it on the nightstand next to her bed. She reasoned that she had to forget him with his face in full view, or suffer each time she saw him or his likeness.

  They met Angie and Carl at the concert and the two couples sat in the center orchestra section of the theater. Susan’s eyes almost immediately fell on a pair of broad shoulders sitting in the front row, two seats ahead. Shifting a bit to get a better view, she saw that it was Will. Sitting next to a handsome and refined gentleman should have been enough, she thought, but seeing Will made her realize anew that she was not close to forgetting.

  The crowd turned when the opening act walked down to the revolving stage, and Susan’s eyes collided with his. He nodded and smiled, lifting his eyebrows when he recognized the man at her side.

  Susan did not enjoy the concert. It was difficult enough putting him out of her mind with no contact, but seeing him rekindled every vestige of the feelings remaining in her heart. And there was no escaping him at the end of the show, as Will’s party blocked their exit.

  She smiled and gripped Marc’s arm for support.

  “How are you, Will? Hello, Terri.” She felt strangely relieved that he was not with another woman, even though she was holding another man.

  “Hello, Susan.” His smile was clearly forced. “It’s good to see you again, Marc. How are you, man? How’s your dad?”

  “As ornery as ever. How is Rev. Cartwright? Dad said he’s recovering nicely.”

  “He’s much better, thank you. I’ll tell him I saw you.” His words were directed at Marc, but his misty eyes were fixed on Susan’s face.

  Marc greeted Terri, and Mrs. Whitehead came over to Susan.

  “Hello, Miss Cross. How are you?” she asked with a motherly smile.

  “I’m doing well, Mrs. Whitehead,” she replied, accepting a quick embrace.

  Will’s eyes had not left her face. She blushed, wanting desperately to go to him.

  “I know things are hectic this time of year, but after the holidays, if you’re available, I’d like to plan that home buyers’ seminar we discussed,” Will said softly. “Is the offer still open?”

  “It certainly is. As a matter of fact, I have already counseled three of the borrowers who attended our meeting.”

  “Yes, I know. I understand Sealand gave them preferred rates, and that you wrangled several builder upgrades for Mrs. Parker. She thinks you’re a saint.” He focused on her as if no one else existed. “I appreciate your working with them. Thank you.”

  “I want to thank you, too,” Mrs. Whitehead added. “I don’t know you very well, but I have a lot of respect for the way you handle yourself. You’re a very special young lady.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Whitehead.”

  They said their good-byes and she guided Marc around the crowd who had gathered to purchase CDs. Stealing a backward glance and finding Will’s dejected look hard to take, she gripped Marc’s arm, knowing she had to get past her feelings.

  * * *

  Over coffee at her place, Marc invited Susan to a special showing of Renaissance art.

  “I don’t know a lot of people who share my interest in art, and certainly not many who are familiar with paintings from that period.”

  “I’m sure I’m not as enlightened as you are, but I do enjoy art. The first painting that caught my eye from that movement was a Giotto. I don’t remember the exact date of the painting, but I spent a lot of time studying the peak of the Renaissance.”

  “Maybe you’re better acquainted with art than I am. Are you interested in other periods, or just the Renaissance?”

  “Once I became interested I followed the artistic movements through history, but I’m not very knowledgeable about modern painters.”

  With Will’s face popping up before her, Susan managed to stay focused until Marc mentioned something he observed earlier in the evening.

  “Maybe I’m out of line here, but I detected a great deal of tension between you and Willie Cartwright. Was this all about the Cedargrove mess?”

  Susan thought of what Will meant to her, even now. He was not just on her mind, but in her heart. His touch, his smell. The wonderful joy he brought to her life.

  “Will and I could have had a relationship, but the Cedargrove thing destroyed that possibility.”

  “I don’t mean to doubt you, but neither of you seemed to have moved past that relationship. I’m not trying to nose into your private life. I’m just thinking of what I would like to see happen between us, and that’s not possible if you’re still hung up on him.”

  She repressed her pain. “Will and I were just getting acquainted, but the feelings were intense. The fallout from the Cedargrove incident made me realize having such a high-profile person in my life would threaten the things I value.”

  “Such as?”

  “I value my privacy, and I’m a creature of habit. I need to have a certain measure of control over my daily life, and not live waiting to run to someone’s aid when the phone rings. There may be feelings left on both sides, but it could never work.”

  “I’m sorry if you were hurt,” he said, tracing her cheekbone with his fingertip. “After meeting you, my family keeps quizzing me about our relationship. I hope to tell them, very soon, that you and I are a couple.”

  She smiled wistfully. “I hope so, too.”

  The music was soft and relaxing. Susan rested her head on Marc’s arm and felt her fatigue turn to pleasure. Will was gone and Marc was there beside her. Even with Will in her heart, her body responded to the man whose arm encircled her waist and drew her close. To hell with it! I don’t have time for backwards thinking. This man is gorgeous.

  Marc lowered his face to hers and she leaned back expectantly. But instead of feeling his mouth on hers, she heard a shrill scream.

  “You have a cat!”

  He pushed her away, jumped up and backed against the wall. A terrified Dino scampered under the coffee table.

  “That’s Dino. He’s perfectly harmless.”

  “Can you get him out of here until I leave?” His voice trembled. “I hate cats.”

  Susan took Dino into her arms and carried him to the bedroom. She tried not to laugh at the terror on Marc’s face.

  “They are the kindest and cleanest creatures in the world,” she said, no longer able to repress her laughter. “
I’m sorry. It’s just that you look so…so ridiculous. He’s just a cat. Domestic, not a wildcat.”

  “I was unaware that you had a cat. He caught me off guard.”

  The mood had soured. Marc left and Susan lay down on the sofa next to Dino until the phone rang. It was Angie.

  “I hate to keep bringing this up, but unless you have a strong attraction to Marc, which I doubt, I suggest you call Willie Cartwright now. That man is head over heels in love with you.”

  “Why are you bringing this up now? I thought you wanted me to hit it off with the handsome Mr. Paxton, who, by the way, is ridiculously afraid of cats. ”

  “The obvious feelings between you and Will are hard to ignore. Besides, you and Marc have been going out together long enough for you to know if he’s the one, and he’s obviously not. If you felt the same attraction for him that you felt for Will, you wouldn’t be alone right now. I know you’re still hung up on Rev. Cartwright, and from what I saw tonight, he’s still hung up on you.”

  “Okay, Angie, what did you see tonight?” She was assuming Angie had read the same pain on Will’s face she had seen, and hoped neither of them could read her thoughts of falling into his arms.

  “That man had tears in his eyes when you walked away with Marc. Carl saw it, too. His face was lined with love when he looked at you. I know how you value your pride and being in control, but those things don’t keep you warm at night. If you don’t want to call him, just go over and visit his church. I’ll even go with you. That’s how strongly I feel about the two of you.”

  “Okay, I’ll go to his church the first Sunday after I get back, so plan to go with me. I don’t know how he feels about me, but you’re right about my feelings. Seeing Will made me realize just how much I love him. It’s all still there, Angie, even stronger than before. It took all the strength I had to let him walk out of my life, even when I wanted to wring his neck. Later, I realized how difficult a life with him could be, and decided it would never work. Now, I think I’ll spend eternity wondering if I was wrong. Maybe I should run to him. That is, if he’ll let me.”

  “Take it from me, he’ll let you.”

  * * *

  The holiday slowdown at Sealand began the week before Thanksgiving. Travis was spearheading the company’s Adopt a Family for the Holidays drive, and Susan assisted in organizing the donations. They worked side-by-side, sorting and bagging clothing and labeling each bag according to age and gender. The hostility between them had vanished, and Susan was glad.

  She was doing a slow countdown to three o’clock, Friday, the time of her flight to Canton, when she received an interesting Friday morning phone call.

  “Miss Cross, this is Lillie Mae Whitehead.”

  “Hello, Mrs. Whitehead. It’s good to hear your voice.” She quickly brainstormed and decided Mrs. Whitehead was calling about the seminar she had promised to hold. “What can I do for you today?”

  “I remembered that you’re from Ohio, and I know how lonesome holidays away from home sometimes are. We have special Thanksgiving services at our church, and I thought you might like to come, maybe to the Wednesday night service.”

  “Oh, Mrs. Whitehead, you’re so kind to think of me. I’d love to come, but I’m going home today. My youngest brother is getting married next Saturday.”

  “That’s wonderful. I’m glad you’ll be with family for the holiday. I hope you have a safe trip.”

  “Thank you, and thank you again for remembering me. I plan to start visiting churches when I get back in town, and my friend Angie and I decided to attend your first Sunday in December service.” She paused and added sweetly, “Rev. Cartwright is well, I trust.”

  “He’s just fine. I’ll let him know you asked. I’m sure he’ll be very happy to have you at our service. Very happy.”

  Angie came bursting through the door just as she hung up.

  “Girl, my kids are going ape over that cat of yours. You would think Dino was the prince of Egypt. Carl is going to kill all of us if they get so attached they start asking for one.” She noticed Susan’s pensive look. “Oh, no! I know that look. What is it?”

  Angie’s face broke into a grin as she listened to Susan’s story.

  “Told you. I don’t care about that mess with Cedargrove. That man is in love with you. He probably put her up to call. I’m sure he also has that foolish pride.”

  “No, I don’t think he was in on this. The evening he stopped by my apartment was when Mom informed me of Charles’ wedding. Will knew I would be out of town for Thanksgiving. He didn’t ask her to call.”

  “Well, she must have felt sorry for him and did it on her own. I sure felt sorry for him the other night. We talked about it all the way home and Carl, who opposes matchmaking of any kind, encouraged me to try and get the two of you together.”

  Susan left work feeling great. On her drive to the airport, she thought of nothing but Will and of visiting his church and looking into his face as he delivered the sermon for the first Sunday in December. She purchased an issue of Cosmo, boarded the plane, and relaxed. The phone call from Mrs. Whitehead had greatly increased her joy, making it possible for her to freely allow Will back into her thoughts. He had never been out of her heart.

  She tore their relationship apart and examined each layer. It was the first case of instant attraction she had experienced. She admitted to loving him harder than she intended and to feeling a great deal of disappointment when he gave up without much of a fight. It was irrelevant now, she thought. If he wanted to continue his pursuit, she planned to allow herself to be captured.

  She spotted her parents at the bottom of the escalator to baggage claims. “Mom! Daddy! I never thought I could miss anyone as much as I’ve missed you.”

  She clung to her father the way she had as a child. He was always there, so she had not experienced the separation anxieties of leaving home. She went to college in state and saw them frequently. When she and Stan married, they moved just four miles away from the home where she had grown up.

  “I love you, both of you.” She pulled them together in a group hug, thinking how simple life had been before she became an adult.

  CHAPTER 9

  “Tell me about this new man in your life. Your mother says he’s an attorney,” Ralph inquired as they headed home from the airport.

  “His name is Marc Paxton. He practices family law in a firm founded by his father. He represented Will and the others during our little confrontation, but his firm sometimes does work for Sealand. That’s how Angie met him. She thinks he’s great.”

  “What do you think?” Ralph asked.

  “He’s wonderful. Intelligent and intellectual. He likes art and classical music. We’re going to an art show when I return. He’s also handsome to a fault, and he hates cats. I don’t think I could keep Dino if the two of us got together.”

  Tammy snorted. “Sounds boring. Have you spoken with Will’s son?”

  “Why should she concern herself with a man who caused her so much anguish, Tammy?” Ralph objected. “Some Bible thumper who is probably not going to be a good husband and who can’t give her the standard of living she should have. Leave her alone. She’s dating a refined young man now, a professional with a lot of promise.”

  “Your father doesn’t understand, but I do. Regardless of how perfect a man may be, there has to be chemistry. You’ll find the right man, honey. I know you will.”

  Tammy looked at her daughter over the front seat of the car. “Speaking of Will Cartwright—”

  “Tammy, what’s the matter with you?” Ralph interrupted. “We’re not speaking of that preacher. Just because his father is one of your heroes from the olden days doesn’t mean our daughter should go around letting him treat her the way he did. I don’t care if he is a preacher. If I ever see him, I’m liable to break his face.”

  “Just hush, Ralph. I know the kind of man my daughter should marry, and I think Willard Cartwright Jr. is perfect for her. I’ll bet he didn’t have anything t
o do with that church mess, and I’ll bet he’s in love with Susan.”

  Susan smiled broadly. “When I was growing up, I would always warn my friends about the two of you bickering before they came to visit. Bobby had assured me that you would walk over hot coals for each other, and your little digs were just part of your love. I’ve missed it.”

  She felt their love and knew she was included. “Will did not have anything to do with the newspaper article. I know that now, and I’ll tell you something, but only if Mom promises not to take flight again.”

  “Pay no attention to your mother, honey. You know how she is. What do you want to tell us?”

  She relayed the story of Mrs. Whitehead’s call and of Angie’s blind-faith assurance that Will loves her.

  “We’re going to his church when I get back. The first Sunday in December. I think Angie is right about the reason she called. Now, don’t carry on, Mom, but I have never found a man I wanted to be with as much I want to be with Will. Marc is interesting and incredibly handsome—pretty handsome—not the strong masculinity of someone like Will. I want to fall in love with him, but I’m still hung up on Will. I think the only way to handle my feelings is to give our relationship another chance.”

  “The heart wants what it wants,” Tammy said. “Don’t apologize for your feelings. Explore them. If you’re in love with Will and he with you, don’t let anything or anyone come between you. Men like Will don’t grow on trees.”

  “Good,” Ralph said. “If they did, you’d be out in the woods trying to find one for her to marry. Honey, you need to take your time. Weigh this thing out before making a decision.”

  “Thanks, Dad, but I’ve waited long enough. I want Will back in my life as soon as possible.”

  * * *

  Susan felt totally relaxed back in her old room and enjoyed having her parents to herself for now, knowing their attention would be divided when Bobby arrived with the baby and Charles with his bride-to-be. She frowned at the bridesmaid’s dress that was waiting for her, and thought the suggested hairstyle was a cross between Doris Day and Grace Jones, but kept it to herself.