Look Both Ways Read online

  “My mother would be happy to answer that question. I spoiled my younger brother Charles so much that Mom and Dad threatened to make me come home from college to care for him. They couldn’t do a thing with him after I left. But he was such a wonderful little boy. I wanted to spoil him even when my parents were home. So yes, I very much want children. Of course my older brother, Bobby, spoiled me when I was a kid. He was a big athlete in high school, and I rode the wave of his popularity my first year at JFK High. I would introduce myself as Bobby Cross’s sister.”

  “Is there a big age difference between you and Charles?”

  “Only six years,” she answered. “Bobby and I are two years apart and were always close. We did just about everything as a family, so the three of us spent a lot of time together. When my parents were busy around the house, they made the oldest child responsible for the others. When Dad took Bobby to his Little League practice, I cared for Charles while my mother prepared dinner. I helped him with homework until I left for college, made his favorite sandwiches, and shot hoops with him at night when he joined the basketball team.”

  “I have a picture in my head of you holding our baby in your arms. I can’t wait for that to happen. I know your career is special to you, and I’ll respect that, but I hope we don’t have to wait too long.”

  “I’ll be twenty-eight in January. I certainly would like to have a child before I’m thirty, but we should make sure we’re okay together before we decide on something so important. I like to think I’m strong and self-reliant. I want to become a part of your life—not change it— to share the things that are important to you. But I do need to know there will be time for the two of us, and then the three, four, and five of us.”

  “Are we having that many?” he asked, laughing. “I’ll make time for us; I’ll make time for family. I promise.”

  * * *

  As the weekend came to a close, thoughts of Monday morning and the situation at Sealand crept into Susan’s head. And then there was Travis. She dreaded having to tell him she was involved with someone else.

  “Nickel for your thoughts,” he said when they were seated on the plane.

  “Nickel, huh?” she answered. “Isn’t it a penny?”

  “Not for the thoughts that put that pensive look on your face.”

  “The look only means I have a lot of thoughts to process. Everything happened so fast. We just met. We’ve talked a lot, but how much do we really know about each other?” He frowned, and she added, “I’m not having second thoughts about our relationship. I feel a little…overwhelmed, but in a good way.”

  “So do I,” he admitted. “And I’m not trying to rush you into marriage. If I’m being overeager it’s because each second I’ve spent with you, even when we disagreed, had a big impact on my heart. I love you, Susan, and I’ll wait for you to set a date for our wedding.”

  “I don’t want to wait. I want to come home and not have to say good-bye to the man I love. I don’t need a long engagement or a big wedding. Thanks to my parents, I already had a fabulous wedding. Now I want a fabulous marriage.”

  She enjoyed his closeness during the plane ride, and he held her hand as they waited in baggage claim. When they arrived at her apartment, she did not want him to leave. “It was a wonderful weekend, Will. I know you have to go, but I’m so going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too. I don’t understand what happens when I’m around you. I want to hold you next to me forever and never let you go. Does that frighten you?”

  “No, I like my space and my independence, but I know without reservation that I’m ready to share it with you, completely and without end.”

  They kissed and he promised to call her before she went to sleep.

  She picked up the newspapers that had been left by the front door, and noticed the flashing button on her answering machine when she placed them on the desk.

  “Ten messages,” she noted, stooping to pet the cat. “Who’s been calling us, Dino? Everyone I know in this city knew I wouldn’t be home. Have you been receiving calls from some slinky feline? Well, you handle it. I’m going upstairs and unpack.”

  She carried her two bags up the steps, with Dino close behind, and put them next to the window seat. Unable to ignore the red light from the answering machine on her nightstand, she sat on the edge of the bed and pushed the machine’s play button.

  The first message was from Price. “Susan, I’ve been calling your cell phone all morning. Call me immediately. Mr. Deeds is on his way back. This is serious. Call me.” The message was recorded at 9:55 that morning.

  She and Will had agreed to turn off their cell phones during the weekend. Will had called his parents and Mrs. Whitehead on Saturday, and Susan had called her parents, Angie, and Barbara. She hurried back downstairs and took the phone from the bottom of her purse. There were six missed messages. The first was from Price.

  “Susan, I know you’re out of town, but I need to speak with you about that article in the Chronicle.”

  She sat in the desk chair and frantically forwarded through the messages on her cell phone and then the ones on the answering machine. Most of them were from Travis and Price—same messages, different tones. There were two from Mark Chestnut, a reporter she had met at the ribbon cutting ceremony, requesting her comment on allegations of redlining leveled by a group of citizens from Cedargrove Heights. The last message on both phones was from a request from Angie. “Susan, don’t talk to anyone until you call me.”

  She took the Sunday edition of the Chronicle from the protective cover. It was folded with section two on top. The caption under a photograph of four men standing in front of Cedargrove Baptist Church brought a sickening pain to her chest: Local Civic Group Lodges Serious Complaint Against Lender.

  The story alleged that Sealand, and Susan Cross, head of lending, failed to investigate their complaints and had participated in discrimination against their neighborhood. Susan’s chest heaved in anger. Before she could dial Angie’s number, the phone rang again. She saw that it was an Ohio call and grabbed the receiver.

  “Mom, I’m here.”

  “Hello, honey. You sounded so happy when you called on Saturday. I can’t wait to hear details of your weekend with Rev. Wonderful.”

  “It was fabulous, Mother.” Her deadpan delivery reeked of bitterness. “He told me I was beautiful and wonderful and special. He said he loved me and he asked me to marry him. He said I was the most provocative and fascinating woman he had ever known…” Her voice wavered; she struggled for control.

  “Susan, what’s wrong? What did he do to you?”

  “Mom, I believe he invited me out of town so his people could plant a story in the paper, and I wouldn’t be available for comment. He used me, Mother. Every sweet word that came from his lips was a damn lie. I found my answering machine filled with messages, including some very ugly ones from that snipe Price Bishop insinuating that he has my job.”

  Joining in, her father said, “I thought this whole redlining thing had gone away. That is what it’s about, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, Dad. They’re claiming Sealand targeted that area for discrimination, and when the matter was brought to my attention, I failed to take action. Those slimy bastards made it appear to be my fault.”

  “Susan, I want you to calm down and put this whole thing in perspective,” Tammy cautioned. “Are you sure Rev. Cartwright was behind this?”

  Before she could answer, her father chimed in. “Susan, do you want your mother and me to come down there? We can leave right away—”

  “Absolutely not,” she interrupted. “I’ll deal with it. I just walked in and found urgent messages from Travis and Price, and then saw the article in the paper, so I’m mad as hell right now. I’ll be okay as soon as I calm down and catch my breath.”

  She went to the refrigerator for a bottle of wine, popped the cork, and drank from the bottle.

  “Have you asked Rev. Cartwright about this yet?

  Isn’t
it possible that he was as unaware of this as you were?”

  Her mother’s voice was calming, but each time Susan thought of the way Will had talked to her, constantly reassuring her of his love, she went into a rage. With the phone cradled to her ear, she walked back to the desk.

  “I didn’t see the article before he left. He lives about fifteen minutes from here. I’ll have to wait until he gets home to ask him about it, but I think the article speaks clearly enough.” She tipped the bottle with both hands.

  “Susan, I want you to promise me that you’ll calm down before you confront this man,” her father said, his voice filled with obvious worry. “I remember when you found that boy you dated in high school with another girl. You attacked his car with a piece of iron, broke the windshield and the windows. Scared the devil out of both of them. And now that I think back, you sounded a lot calmer then. And we all know what you did to Stan. I think we should come down there. I don’t want you to face this alone, and I don’t want you to do something regrettable.”

  “Your father is right. I want to see Houston, anyway. It’s been—”

  “Mom, Dad, I love you for your concern, but I’ll be fine. I promise not to do anything rash or regrettable, though at the moment I can’t imagine regretting chopping Will Cartwright into tiny pieces of vermin. I feel used. Used by Sealand, by that prick Price Bishop, but most of all, by Will. I’m okay now. Don’t worry, Daddy. You won’t have to bail me out of jail. I’ll call you later tonight.” She hung up and called Angie.

  “Girl, I don’t know if Will had anything to do with this, but I want to see some bastard fry. I want to ask about your weekend, but I’m sure it’s spoiled now.”

  “Angie, I’ve never been this angry in my life. He deliberately got me out of the way to allow this to hit the papers. You should hear the message Price left. He has probably already planted his sorry butt in my chair. ‘Be in my office at nine.’ Who the hell does he think he’s talking to? One way or another, I’ll mop up this mess with his ass, and that’s a promise. How far did you get on the files?”

  “I had four more, but when I read this I just dropped everything and finished them. Did you see the part about that Rev. Otis? He said he discovered this problem…oh yeah, with the assistance of Rev. Cartwright. As it turns out, his file was one of the last rejects. I’ve been calling all over the city to get the 411 on him and got it. It’s all here.”

  “Thank you, Angie. Now all I have to do is find someone in the media, preferably TV. I wish I could do it tonight. I’ll start—”

  “Wait, wait, wait!” Angie yelled excitedly. “I know someone. You tell me what to say and I’ll do my best to get your comments on the ten o’clock news. I also know the reporter who wrote the story—not personally, but he has covered a lot of stories involving Sealand.”

  “Yes, I know,” Susan said. “I gave him my business card at the ribbon cutting for the Memorial Drive office. He called my cell phone to get my side of the story, but I was in Atlanta with Rev. Charm.”

  “Listen, Carl is at work. Why don’t you come on over here and spend the night?”

  She was touched. “Thanks, Angie, but I need to collect myself and make some calls. Guess whom I’m calling first? He said he wouldn’t turn his cell on until he got home. Angie, you should have heard him telling me how much he loved me. He even asked me, unofficially of course, to marry him. Mom called a few minutes ago. I’ll have to call back tonight so they won’t worry. If things get too hairy here, I’ll let you know. I can never thank you enough for your help with those files. You’re a true friend.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We’re in this together. I don’t even care anymore if they find out I’m involved. We’ll get all of them. Be sure to call me later.”

  She opened the sliding glass door to the balcony and was almost pushed back by the heat. It’s October. It’s blistering even when the sun is down.

  She sat on the patio, blowing hot air into hot air, and looked at the thermometer hanging on the window. Ninety-two! At seven o’ clock?

  Seven o’clock. He’s home.

  She stopped and held her head, telling herself to calm down before calling Will or anyone else. She placed the CD she had purchased into the machine, collected her wits, and dialed his number.

  * * *

  Will stopped by to see his parents before going home. He smiled when he saw both of his sister’s cars in the driveway. He could deliver his good news to everyone at the same time.

  He almost ran into the family room, where his father and brother-in-law were enjoying dessert and the football game. “Hey, everybody. How was service today, Pop? Tell me what I missed.”

  “Nothing special,” Rev. Cartwright said, looking up. “But you sure seem happy. Did something happen in Atlanta?”

  His mother and sisters came in from the kitchen. He could hear the children playing upstairs. One day, he thought he would be hearing that sound from his own children, and felt happy all over.

  “You could say that. I just got sort of engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  “That must be Miss Cross. I didn’t know she went with you. Congratulations, son.” Rev. Cartwright let out a hearty laugh. “She sure is a looker.”

  Everyone began talking at once until his sister, Eugenia, yelled, “Will someone please tell me what’s going on here? Who is this Miss Cross, and why does everyone know about this but me?”

  “You would have met her if you’d been at the fashion show, Jean,” Terri said. “She’s very pretty, but don’t you think you’re moving too fast, Willie? You just met this woman a few weeks ago.”

  “And it was love at first sight. I know she’s the one. She’s beautiful and wonderful and bright, and she loves me. Be happy for me, please.”

  He took his cellphone from his pocket and switched on the power. It rang before he could slip it back into his pocket.

  “Hello, Reverend.” Susan’s voice was dry, colorless. “I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear from me, so don’t bother lying. You’re done quite enough of that already. ‘I love you, Susan, I want you in my life.’ What you wanted was to get Susan out of the way so your conniving band of devils could plant your seed.”

  Each time he tried to speak, she cut him off with another angry outburst. Pain and humiliation punctuated her accusations.

  “I can just hear you and the boys sitting around the pulpit and making your plans. ‘Use your charm to get the broad out of town. She likes you.’ Well, let me boost your ego a few notches higher, Reverend.”

  “Susan, baby, whatever you’re talking about is making no sense to me. Please calm down and tell me what’s wrong. Tell me—”

  “I’m about to tell you. I’m going to tell you the whole story. See, Reverend, from the moment you walked into my office that first day I was hopelessly gone on you. Doesn’t that make you feel mighty? I have never had such feelings for anyone. I was blinded by my feelings for you, but it’s all clear now. Crystal clear. I let my guard down, Rev. Cartwright. I allowed you into my life and allowed myself to care for you.”

  “Susan! Please—”

  “Shut up and let me finish. I’m no minister, and right now I don’t feel much like a Christian, but I would never stoop so low as to use someone the way you used me. Bask in your glory, Reverend. Ride high so you’ll have a long way to fall when your house of deceit crumbles. And it will. That’s a promise.”

  The phone clicked in his ear. He first looked at his father, who did not seem surprised.

  “Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

  “That bastard Rev. Otis,” Terri answered, holding a folded copy of the Houston Chronicle.

  Will read the headlines. “Why would he do this?” He dialed Susan’s number. “Why would he sabotage…don’t hang up, please! My sister just showed me the article. Susan, I swear to you that I didn’t—”

  “Oh, you naughty Reverend, you even swear. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the rage and loathing I now
feel for you, but I’ll live through it. I have a debt to pay.”

  The phone clicked again, and flashes of pain shot through his heart.

  “I can’t believe this. She thinks I deliberately got her out of town so she couldn’t respond to this. I’ve got to convince her that I knew nothing about it.”

  “You didn’t, but that snake Clyde Otis did.” Mrs. Cartwright shook her head. “He’ll get his. God will get tired of this. He’s take Clyde by the neck and wring the evil out him like a soggy dishrag.”

  Will threw his hands up. “That man tries to undermine everything I do. He’s done it before, but I’ve never had so much to lose.”

  * * *

  Using the repeat button on the CD player, Susan sat on the floor and listened again and again to words of passion, love, and loss, that aptly described her pain and disappointment. Stroking Dino and trying to keep a clear head, she resisted the urge for more wine. She needed to relax, but was afraid of dulling her senses.

  She looked around her first solo apartment, her first attempt at housekeeping alone. She believed in home ownership to the point of never even imagining spending top dollar for a rental, but she did enjoy the ambiance. The richness of the material on the sofa and chairs, the dining table that she had only shared with Travis, the fresh-cut flowers she bought twice a week. It had been home only briefly, but she did not want to lose it. Not this way.

  “I could have had a relationship with Travis, but no, I wanted Rev. Cartwright.” She stared at the wine bottle in her hand, feeling her heart shatter anew as she realized how much Will had come to mean to her in a very short time.

  The tone of Price’s messages and the fact that Mr. Deeds had been summoned suggested they were planning a hasty exit for her. She was not shocked that she was being used as a scapegoat for the company, but the fact that Will had used her was unimaginably painful.

  “Betrayed, Dino. Mighty Will, a little branch from the Judas tree. I’m fighting this, Dino. I may go down, but I’ll go down fighting. I’ll take him and…” The doorbell interrupted her declarations.